The process of creation, expectations, perfectionism and true creativity

One of the biggest gifts for me during the first lockdown was The 100 Day Project. An annual initiative I’d seen taking place online for years and always wanted to participate in, but didn’t until it restarted in spring 2020. I finally felt there was space to commit.

The project (which starts again on 31st Jan - look it up!!) is an invitation to create something every day for 100 days, and document it on your IG if you wish. You can interpret the invitation however you like, whether you make a simple line drawing, a poem, a song, a photograph, a sculpture out of clay or whatever you have to hand, a nature mandala, a digital illustration, etc. It should be something you feel curious to explore that you could do in under 5 mins if you’re time pressured one day, or not in the mood.

I chose to practice painting, something I’ve always enjoyed and picked up on and off since my A levels. I did about 50 days of the project with gouache paints before it trailed off as my photography work became very busy in the Summer & Autumn. It was a really interesting process to show up consistently in this way though, which I’ve never done before with art. Despite the break I ultimately took from daily painting, I have returned now & again, and shown up to the paint pad!

I ordered a daylight lamp so that I could continue even while the days are short. It arrived yesterday, so I painted this little scene inspired by our garden.

Art teaches me a lot, or rather, the process of creation teaches me a lot about expectations, perfectionism and true creativity. I often begin a piece with a vision or idea of what I’m going to make, and, of course, I like for it to go to plan. When it doesn’t, (like this piece didn’t!!) I feel the urge to scrub it over with my paintbrush and throw it away! Instead of doing that, the 100 day project reminded me to just let whatever happens be what it is that day, even if you think what you’ve made is utter shit. It just IS what came out. Whatever. Tomorrow is another day. It was liberating to actually allow myself to ‘fail’, share the piece anyway, and in that came a freedom.

Last night I had the urge to give up on this little painting, but as I recognised the familiar voice of ‘I hate it. This is shit. I’m shit. I should just destroy this’, I suddenly felt another voice say ‘okay, well if it’s so shit, why don’t you just play with it? It’s never going to match up to your hopes, so let’s see what would happen if you just explored what else could be here? If you well and truly fuck it up, it doesn’t matter, you were going to throw it away anyway!’

...and there was the space for real creativity again.

I really liked how this turned out, and was so glad to have just kept exploring.

Creating things is just such an interesting process. I’m listening to the insights that come from my creativity and trying to see how they work out beyond the paint pad.

If you would like to see what I made last year and read more about what came up for me, my art account is @beckyruistudio. Also, if you’re drawn, give The 100 Day Project a go!